A regular human urinates approximately every 3-3,5 hours. The approximate length of an Oscar contender this year is approximately 2,5 hours – and there are several films that exceed 3 hours. This means, that unless you have flushed your system completely before watching a movie, you are more than likely to have to hold your wee at the end of every movie see at the theaters, or go make a run. Either way, you are distracted from the story only by your natural needs, or even if you are perfectly prepared for your 3h26min sit-through, you can be 100% sure not everyone around you is. So, either way, you’ll be distracted.
These behemoths of a movie started to appear in more frequent pace after streaming started to be more accessible in households, as watching a film home that’s 3-4 hours is no problem at all – easy to pause, easy to get your snacks and moment with nature and continue. Yeah, distraction, but at least you don’t lose 10 minutes of the story when trying to run around the megaplex finding a toilet.
Why have the most remarkable films of the year started to get longer and longer, it seems, every year? I made a comparison between projected Best Picture contenders of this year, and those of my birth year 1979, and while the approximate length of a movie has gone from 129 minutes to 136 minutes, only 1 out of 5 was over 3 hours, and 4 out of 5 were under 2h10min, compared to this year when we have 2 out of 10 over 3 hours, and 5 out of 10 over 2h10 min.
What I’m saying is, filmmakers are demanding more and more of my bladder and my bum than before, and that’s a trend I don’t think is necessarily all for the good. For me, the best film of 2023 was Fallen Leaves, at only 88 minutes length, and didn’t feel too short or too quick – the story was told, economically and clearly, instead of some of this year’s more meandering epics. Even Napoleon, at it’s 2h38minutes length felt more right than Killers of the Flower Moon or, let alone, Poor Things – because the story was there, and it kept on moving forward with a pace that felt clear and good and understandable.
What I’m trying to say here is that the streaming platforms have brought this new trend of meandering, over-self-indulgent films that just don’t know when to call it quits and let people go home. Watching Poor Things yesterday, around the time when they were wrapping it up, I was about to call it a masterpiece, but then they decided to throw in another new 20-minute-long sidestep that totally deflated the experience. Same happeend with Flower Moon, had there been some consideration for the length, it would have been a much better movie in my opinion. Many would disagree, and I have no need or want to try to tell them I’m more right than they, but my experience was really crippled by the length and I’m not too keen on that trend.
Well, what else. Yeah, went to stroll around the town checking out the Helsinki Lux light festival. The night was absolutely freezing, below negative 20 feeling like negative 30 I guess, but we braved through few of the displays and enjoyed them. I was impressed by the music and light show they displayed on the Helsinki Cathedral, but frankly, it was too cold to really stand around and enjoy every piece.
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