China Diary

Day 72: My Big Mouth, and other stories…


“She’s perfect! She’s amazing! I absolutely want her!”

I jump off my seat and congratulate the young lady. She has just auditioned for me for one of the last roles that still remain open, and she did a killer job. They took the time to makeup her, put her hair and dress her up and she was everything I wanted for the role: she had the attitude, the looks and the skills. In addition to this, the costume designer had found a perfect costume for her, after so many bad choices I had been presented with. And since we have only few days to go before the shooting begins, there’s the pressure in the back of my head that I need to find someone, but I can’t just cast anyone. She’s gotta be perfect.

So I was really excited. “Wow!” “You look terrific, the makeup is amazing and the hair is so great!” “The costume is amazing!” “I definitely want to work with you!”

What I didn’t know, and what the casting hadn’t told me, was that she was there with her mother. And to a mother hearing a weird western guy compliment her daughter’s looks (I was really complimenting the makeup and the costume designer’s work, I’m not the kind of a greasy man who goes catcalling ladies in the workplace) set all the alarm bells ringing. Later on, she had gone to Max’s office and let out a shitstorm of the ages, which led Max to call me and tell me we have to find someone else. Her mother would make it impossible to work with the actress.

AaAARRGGghghh! I was so angry at the casting – why didn’t they tell me her mother was there? I would’ve of course been much more modest, much calmer and more careful with my words – instead, now I’m left with one gaping hole in the list of actors.

Well, I just heard the company has sent a popular girl band to the office for me for casting. So I better be on my way… But this time, I have to make sure their mothers are not in the room.

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