As I’m writing this, she I have just pressed the door close after she left back to Finland after spending a week with me here in China. Suddenly, the proportions of the hotel room seem to shrink and I feel a hand crawling from inside me, clutching my throat. One thing I understood during this week, kind of a bubbling feeling that’s been forming under the hood for the last three months here is that what I really want from my life is a more steady one. I’m not enjoying this – empty hotel rooms, empty breakfast rooms, empty gyms, same old ugly face in the mirror brushing teeth every morning, dinners, white wines, choosing t-shirt of the day… when she’s not around, it’s not life worth living.
She had arrived, finally. I knew it from the fact that there was a new pair of tiny white shoes in the hallway of my suite. I sneaked in, I saw the bed unmade – someone was sleeping there. I tiptoed around the apartment a bit, enjoying the view. There she was, under the sheets, with a t-shirt over her face (she has this funny way of sleeping – always with a t-shirt over her face because she doesn’t like waking up during the night and seeing the shadows creep the walls; she has that kind of a vivid imagination), fast asleep. I slip under the sheets and carefully kiss her awake. Her eyes slowly open, and we see each other for the first time in so many months.
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Afterwards, we head out for a small dinner with Mika and Crystal to a traditional Beijing hot spot place. She’s donned in her fishnet stockings, high heels, a way too short camouflage shirt, her purple hair shining brightly, with purple lipstick, and she looks absolutely amazing. I find myself secretly enjoying the faces of the men – and again, it’s only men here – as she enters the room, looking an exact opposite of the subtle quietness of the ideal Chinese woman, bursting in sexyness and self-confidence. Literally, one of the guys’ jaw drops and he just stares at her – the whole dinner. After a while I do glance them nasty enough so that they try to at least hide their amazement for a bit, but again, I feel like being on a date with the biggest movie star: she just doesn’t go unnoticed here.
I’m so happy she’s back in my life, and already start plotting all the ways she’ll miss her flight after a week to keep her around for longer.