China Diary

Day 52: Stressful days ahead

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Today we finally begun constructions for our key sets in Qingdao, and had our first big storyboard meeting with the whole team, going through shot-by-shot how each of the shots will be made – what’s built on set, what will be done with VFX and what kind of plates we will need to compile the shot. It’s tedious, but simultaneously extremely clear way to communicate to the whole team in very practical terms all the details required for each shot.

Keep on cheering, Chris, because there’s many more of meetings like this still to come 🙂

For whatever reason, I hadn’t slept well – maybe it was the fact that The Fear had set in – and I expect the following weeks to be more and more stressful. Thus, I’m trying to keep my head together and not start worrying about things that are out of my reach – whenever I go through a stressful work phase, also things I’m unable to do anything with start to create addition baggage. Right now, I do have quite a lot on my plate on all fronts, and it’s hard to keep each bit separated, but I’m getting better at ignoring the noise. Better focus on Iron Sky The Coming Race, Iron Sky: The Ark and trying to get my family to visit me here in China, and I should be pretty well off.

We also received the latest shooting schedule for Iron Sky: The Ark today, which dictates the start of the shoot to be 18th of October, and finishing off 17th on January. That’s altogether 70 actual shooting days in two countries, which is more than double on what we had with Iron Sky The Coming Race. Still, it feels it’s going to be very tight, but then again, the script is also big. 141 pages, dozens of locations all over the world and space and Moon, five big action sequences, tens of speaking roles – and of course, mostly all in Chinese. So yeah, I’m starting to be slightly stressed…

The weather in Beijing is slowly turning definitely towards autumn. The days are smoggier now than they were few weeks ago – the horizon looks like the game engine ran out of juice and someone turned down the graphic settings, and in the evening walking around in shorts can get rather chilly. Still, it’s mostly mid-twenties in celsius here for big part of the day. I heard also back in Finland the October Rust is slowly setting in, but the days are still long and warm and beautiful. I really miss Finnish autumn, I must say.


China Diary

Day 51: The Fear Is Here

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Finally, today, the Fear arrived.

This is what I’ve been waiting for, knowing it’s on its’ way, but haven’t really felt it until this morning. The Fear. The Impending Doom. The “Impostor Syndrome”.

I’ve had it twice before, and now it’s here for the third time. It happens every time a little bit before shooting the new film begins, and it hits you hard. It’s the horrific understanding that in a very, very short time you have to helm a project worth of millions of dollars, hyper-professional actors and crew around you, while the clock is ticking away and the producers are watching over your performance, and you have to deliver an impeccable film and make no mistakes. It’s the understanding of the pressure that’s been building up for the last one and a half years, and the realizing you can’t run away anymore, no matter what. It’s the fear of being exposed as a “fraud”, not knowing what you are doing, how you are going to pull this one off and the feeling that soon everyone will know you’ve just been fooling them, that you’re not a real director and should never helm a project of this or any other scale.

It’s also the throat-crushing feeling that you’re not ready for the first shooting day. I haven’t had the naked-on-the-set -dreams yet for this movie, the ones where I walk on the set in just my underwear (or did I have one the other night… not totally sure), but they are coming for sure.

For the first Iron Sky, I remember my morning jog path went right past the first shooting location. For the few weeks before the shoot I stopped there, imagined how I would direct the day minute-by-minute. For Iron Sky The Coming Race, I wandered to the big studio every day for the last few weeks before the shoot, watching as the big set was being built, again, imagining how the first day will unfold.

Of course, the first shooting day went nothing like I had imagined. And that’s just fine. It’s amazing how quickly one adjusts to the chaos and flurry of the shoot. But the fear is the guiding light towards the first shooting day, and it won’t leave you. It’s actually a friendly feeling – if I didn’t have it, I should be more worried. Then, I would know for sure I’m not prepared at all. The Fear, instead, tells me that everything is moving to the right direction.

I think it was Spielberg, whom I don’t associate myself with at all but respect as a director hugely, who said that even still, after all these years, every first shooting day of his new film he has to pull off by the side of the road to puke.

Making a film is always such a big undertaking, preparation of many months and the expectations of hundreds, thousands – and eventually, millions, but the audience you shouldn’t worry about at this point – all coming down to one focal point of your life, and there’s nowhere to run.

But the Fear tells you’re doing the right thing.

So, no fear, the Fear is here.

China Diary

Day 50: Six lanes of traffic, three lanes moving slow…

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Another one of those days which could be flushed down the toilet. Another wasted day in my hotel room bed, trying to make one decent video call to my wife to see her face for a bit, and another day of constant “poor connection”, “reconnecting”… I declined a room service since I don’t want my room to be cleaned, not today. I want my clothes stay in the corner I tossed them yesterday, I want my bedsheets messy and my tables flooded with petty cash and restaurant receipts from last night. I don’t want to see anybody. I also declined to visit the Summer Palace with Mika and his girlfriend, because I really can’t take a happy couple in a romantic park right now. I should work on the script a bit, but I can’t bring myself to open the damn file. All I do is lay here, smelling bad and feeling like shit, Mark Knopfler’s lonely guitar sounds as my only company. So, a typical Sunday mood these days.

This is my relationship these days…

IMG_0096Nevertheless, yesterday was not a bad day, work-wise. I got around the office in the noon and right away I was introduced to the actor Tank Dong who will play the character Uncle Pan in Iron Sky: The Ark; it was a costume fitting, and we had some fun time coming up with his look and picking weapons for him (the only one we had there was too small – he’s a big guy – and actually played a role in Skyfall, giving a good beating to mr. Bond himself. He’s an ex pro boxer, so finding stuff that fits his commendable frame is a challenge, but I think we managed to find a great outfit for him.

We’ve been working on the storyboards with Mika for quite a long time now, and they are starting to be in order. Jonathan from the office has been doing big sorting through all the boards, trying to match them to the script, and finally we have most of it done. The use of the storyboards is in many ways essential to our style of production. It’s easy to color with green everything that’s going to be made in VFX, and easy to explain to all the departments on what they need to build, what not, and what’s still lacking. I’m slightly worried, to be honest, with our art department – we have so much to build, and I think they haven’t really started on anything. I know once they are on the job, they are fast, but there’s still quite a lot of questions open in the air and we are about to shoot in less than a month, so I really hope next week the construction begins, otherwise we have nothing but green walls to shoot! (Which is pretty much the way we shot Iron Sky 1, so it would be nothing new…)

After the workday, we had a dinner with Mika and his girlfriend and some people from the production. The mushrooms were above everything, although it was just a terrific meal all in all, and not far from the hotel, too! I wish I would know the Chinese foods the way the locals do. Whenever I go to a restaurant and order for myself, I get absolutely the least inedible items on the list. Whenever the locals go, they order the table full of amazing dishes… I just have no idea how they do that.

Anyway, I’m a miserable shadow of a man myself now, but I’m happy at least one of us expats has company here. Hopefully Annika can come over here when we start shooting, right now we’re trying to aim for that. Crossing fingers!

China Diary

Day 49: TGIF

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The night was restless and sweaty, and I woke up already at 7 am for the first time, just to toss and turn in my bed for an hour or so until falling back to sleep. When I finally woke up, it was already nearly eleven and I had royally missed the breakfast, which was fine since I was still quite full after last night’s heavy burger dinner.

Back in Finland, my pal Jesse Haaja had just had his first feature film released, a Finnish superhero movie Rendel, and my wife and most of my pals back home had celebrated the premiere, which I totally missed of course, being stuck here on the other side of the world. Well, anyway Jesse, if you read this – congrats, man!

The day at the office was pretty fun, though. Maxine, our 2nd AD, had worked all through the night to translate the script, so when I arrived, she left home for sleep – but not before delivering me the brand new script! I started reading it instantly, but the day was dotted with loads of meetings: first costume fittings for one of the actors, then a meeting with Max who had just returned from Iran (he praised the country), then few meetings with production designer, stunts coordinator and propmaster… See, the fact is, we are shooting in less than a month! There’s so much to be done by then, and since we haven’t really even started to build sets yet, a lot of things are about to hit the ground and they better do so running! But now that we finally have the script, it’s much easier to operate. Now I’m able to set all the meetings and make all the decisions that have been a bit in the air and which I’ve been reluctant to nail before I read the script – and good that I didn’t! For example, the new script has expanded one location from one scene to three scenes – so the studio plan for that scene needs to be completely re-taught. Nobody wants to see us crammed in a small corner if we are about to spend five minutes of the movie in there…

After the hectic day, me and Mika headed for a very spicy dinner, visited a barbershop to get our hair straight, and finished the evening at a local, beautiful whiskey bar over a glass of high quality whiskey sour, made into Maker’s Mark, of course. Now I’m sitting in my bed, cursing the bad Internet connection and playing a bit of Skyrim. TGIF.

China Diary

Day 48: Heavy Metal Burger

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I was feeling antsy yesterday, needing something different to do instead of just sitting in my hotel room bed and waiting for the script translation to finish, so I googled what events would Beijing have going on – and just by accident, I noticed a Finnish heavy metal band Battle Beast was playing not five kilometers away from the office! Although I can’t say I’m a huge fan, I thought it’s a great way to spend an evening, so I arranged tickets and headed over there. This would be my second time I see a metal band play in China – last time was Gorgoroth show in Hong Kong many years ago on Iron Sky 1’s release tour.

Suicyco Muthafucka ready for the show!

I arrived to the venue way too early, got my ticket and wandered off to the small Hutong streets, and found a little corner restaurant where I enjoyed a beer and some lamb skewers before the show. The venue was just like these rock venues are, in a pretty good shape and of a good size for the band like Battle Beast, and the sounds were pretty good, too. It was fun to see Chinese metalheads suddenly appearing all around, when normally you don’t see them anywhere. I spotted tens of familiar band t-shirts, just like in any European metal club, and to my great surprise, the people really seemed to know Battle Beast the band and even some of their songs, which is interesting since I’ve hardly even heard of them before. Big in China, I guess. And it’s pretty good idea to be big in China, since, well, it’s a big country!

Battle Beast, from Finland, in Beijing!
Safe and convenient!

The evening was nice, but also I did feel like not really belonging there. During the whole evening, not one person approached me or spoke to me, so apart from the sideway glances, I was left pretty much alone. After the show I thought about getting a cab, but realized it’s not easy, and ended up walking few kilometers instead, and found myself close to the place where I had the burger the other day – Great Leap Brewing. And indeed, I was feeling a bit hungry despite the lamb skewers, and decided to pop in for a glass of high-quality craft beer and one of the best burgers I’ve had in my life.

Again, I was left alone, but the curious glances are constant. I realize i don’t really fit in here, being a European giant among the normal folk, but it’s still getting a bit on my nerves.

Later on, I found a way to get a taxi and headed homewards. The metal show was a nice interruption to my daily routines here, and the burger is always a wonderful way to end the day, so all in all, I had a pretty nice day.

Well, given the circumstances, at least…

China Diary

Day 47: A Dog Year

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Ah, another joyous trip to the Visa Renewal Office half an hour car ride away, and another instant rejection at the counter because now they were missing a correct stamp. We waited for another two hours at the office, after which I got fed up, informed Crystal the assistant that me and Mika would be getting the hell out of there and they’ll let us know when they have the papers in order.

Back at the office, I finally got to hear the rundown of the changes for the script. Max had worked with the Chinese writer and produced a five pages longer script, which focuses on some important points of the movie, but luckily didn’t really change the key set pieces too much. I had feared we might be in for a huge production overhaul, but it seems it’s all “just” in the dialogue and the logic behind everything, so it should be controllable.

The office guys thought they’ll run a little practical joke on me today. For lunch, I asked for a hamburger, but instead of a normal burger they – for whatever Chinese comedic reason that evades me – they ordered a 1,5kg burger the size of a pizza! It took nearly two hours to produce and when it landed on our table, we both were nearly knocked off of our chairs with Mika. Who’s gonna eat that? Not me (at least: not all… and in the end, I ate half of it). That, of course, led to a feelings of self-loathe, instant ugliness, dramatic weight gain and other fun stuff that comes along when eating nearly 1kg of utter crap… And remember, yesterday I had had a burger as well.

So when I came back to the hotel, I went to the gym to sweat off some of the disgust I had accumulated, and managed pretty well in it, actually. I spent good nearly two hours there, listening to a handful of podcasts (my favorites are in addition to Dan Savage’s magnificient Savage Love Podcast, also BBC’s History Extra -podcast, How Stuff Works -podcast and Mark Kermode’s film podcast) and working on the weights.

The Internet Gods who dwell this hotel blessed my floor with pretty good connection, so I managed to finish this Jeff Bridges -movie “A Dog Year”, a TV-movie from 2009 which did gain him an Emmy nomination, and no wonder. The film itself was easily brushed off as a typical midlife crisis film with dogs, but instead of the dogs being intelligent, talking superhero Lassies of the story, they were just dogs. Lovable, a bit dumb and absolutely out of control – but it was more about Jeff’s character, a bitter writer fighting writer’s block (I wonder how many films like that are in existence, not to mention novels…) and how he learns – you guessed it – something about himself.

Oh, and we did get our Visas renewed, Mika for another 30 days, me for another 60… We had asked for a longer extension, so that we wouldn’t have to fly around during the shoot which only has one day off each week and we’d rather spend it relaxing than sitting in planes en route to Seoul or Hong Kong, but oh well. At least we don’t have to fly out right away…

China Diary

Day 46: Official Business and Craft Beers

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We were ushered to a van early in the morning and driven across the town to the Visa Offices, where our intention was to renew our Chinese Visas. See, me and Mika both managed to get a multiple-entry Visas for China, but unfortunately they only gave them for 60 and 30 days, respectively. This would mean that during our trip, I would have to travel out of the country every 60 days, and Mika every 30 days. Flying to Hong Kong and directly flying back counts as a re-entry, so that would be the solution, but that’s just stupid, not to mention the fact we are actually working on an “environmentally aware” film, this kind of carbon footprint is what Planet Earth could live without.

The office building is just as office buildings everywhere else in the world are, but the one thing that I’ve found different from authoratives in China compared to Finland for example is that they are a damn grumpy bunch, many of them. First, we waited for about two hours in line to meet an officer, and when we finally got to sit in front of her, she took a glance at our papers, handed them back and said: your company is registered in the wrong district. Well, that’s just awesome.

We went back to the office through a nasty traffic and wasted most of the day (well, I did, at least, Mika managed to do some real work actually) just sitting around. I’m still waiting for the latest script, and before I get that, I’m a bit reluctant to start anything major because it could potentially be a waste of time and effort, and anyway I have this underground drain of motivation already filling up to the brim, so instead I headed back home.

The whole hotel room has started to crunch me, day by day. The 15 square meters or something seems to be getting smaller and more depressing every time I step in, and now it was not even 5pm – and the idea of spending the next 8 hours in this cell of mine didn’t sound like a plan. Instead, I Googled “Best Burger in Beijing”, and decided it’s time to see what this city is made of.

One of the perks I enjoy is having a personal driver at my disposal whenever needed. As a humble Finn I’m reluctant to use such perks more than once a week, although the driver is always really happy to drive me around. But today, I decided, I needed a lift instead of an uncomfortable Berlin taxi experience, so soon I was being hauled to a restaurant/pub called Great Leap Brewing #12 Brewpub.

Another retreat for the expats, the place was positively packed, with very few Asians faces around – outside of people behind the bar (and no, it doesn’t mean I don’t like to have Asians around, it’s just the fact in this specific bar thank you very much now sit down). I decided to find my seat and the next few hours of my evening sitting at the bar counter, enjoying an amazing Cheese Burger and few craft beers from across the world.



China Diary

Day 45: Back on the Track

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After yesterday’s disappointment, I decided to gather myself and we agreed with Annika a new schedule for her arrival, and now we have a clear date in mind when she gets here and although it’s far in the future, it’s still much better than not having a date set at all.

Otherwise, the day went past in a blur. I went swimming in the morning – I really hate it, it’s dull and boring and splashy and wet and what not, but it’s good for the joints, we big humans should give our joints a rest every now and then. Then, at the office I heard Max had finished a new version of the script and now I’m waiting to get the translation.

Afternoon, I started to feel a bit weak. I’ve got no idea what it was, probably the bad air quality outside, but it was almost a bit like a fever, but then again, not exactly – kinda sore throat and overall fatigue that set in. I skated back to my hotel quite early and took a good two-hour nap, dreaming of a Mongolian punk band doing Suicidal Tendencies covers (don’t ask).

As I woke up, the news of Annika not being able to come to China next week hit us both hard, so most of the night went recovering from that. Like I told already yesterday, I tried watching a movie, but the Internet wouldn’t let me, so I ended up playing some Skyrim, and started something that could one day be a screenplay.

Now it’s 01:15, my brains are still overheated from all the stuff that went down today, but since I have an early one tomorrow – we’re trying to get an extension to our Visas, so a lot of sitting around at Chinese government offices ahead for me. Better try get some sleep.

China Diary

Day 44: Killing The Flame

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I’m gonna start by getting this off my chest first.

It seems my wife Annika won’t make it here in China in the next two months. We were looking forward for her flying here next Monday, but thanks to some unforeseeable complications, the trip can’t happen now.

When I realized this, it felt like somebody had punched me right in the fucking stomach. That’s the only – the very *only* thing – that’s been keeping me sane here for the last one and a half months, knowing that on this specific date, she would be flying in – and now, well, she won’t. And the next window of opportunity will be in more than two months.

And I can tell you, she’s just as devastated about it as I am. We both fell apart over Skype collectively, and have now been trying to gather ourselves. It felt like somebody shoved a vacuum cleaner in my head and sucked all the motivation and inspiration out of there.

Oh, well. What can you do?


I was feeling pretty good yesterday, before learning all this. I skated around the town, visited an old Chinese observatory, called Beijing Ancient Observatory, learning a hell of a lot of things about the history of astronomy. The place has been there since early 1400’s, and still retains many of the original instruments used to observe the movement of the universe. Walking between the equatorial and ecliptic armillas, astronomical sextants, azimuth theodolites, altazimuths, celestial globes and quadrants made me think about all the great minds who had been tinkering with these devices for us to understand a bit better where is our little planet headed for.

Beijing has grown around this ancient observatory. When it was built, it was just one on the edge of a forest.

At home, I watched three movies. First one, 50 Children: The Rescue Mission of Mr. and Mrs. Kraus, was a touching HBO doc about a couple who set out on a journey to save 50 Jewish kids from Nazi Germany in ’39, reminding us that the last time USA turned down huge masses of immigrants was in the Second World War, when they didn’t want to let the Jewish refugees in, who tried to escape the Holocaust.

The other film was 50 First Dates, the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore -starred Peter Segal -directed rom com from early 2000’s. Well written, not a fantastic classic but served my mood perfectly. I’ve always enjoyed Adam Sandler, maybe as a guilty pleasure, and this is him at the top of his game.

The last film was the weirdest, a TV movie called 7 Days In Hell, a mockumentary where Kit Harington fought Andy Samberg on a a tennis court. I didn’t have a clue what was going on in that one…

Nevertheless, it was a thoroughly enjoyable day, and a much-needed day off, and today, waking up I learned about all this shit and now the whole world reeks like a dumpster. I was feeling so bad I thought watching a movie where divorced Jeff Bridges gets a dog to comfort him would cheer me up, but the Internet at the hotel had been shitty the whole day so no luck there.

So now I’m sulking in my bed, grumpy as hell. I better go to sleep early, and then start my two-month crawl towards the light with a bit brighter mind.


China Diary

Day 43: Hardcore Storyboard Action

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One of the things that everyone who has ever seen one film about Beijing knows is the local Hutong areas. Hutongs are typical Beijing local areas of small streets and a certain type of old buildings around them, located in the heart of Old Beijing. These street corners have been here forever – first ones were already built in the 13th century, so their historical and cultural importance is immeasurable.

Immeasurable to the level that it’s absolutely forbidden to shoot a movie in there. Of course, being Chinese, these crafty bastards have circled the issue and built at least two hutong sets in Beijing area: one in China Film Studios, the other one somewhere outside the city. And since we’re shooting in Wanda Studios in Qingdao, the production rather wants us to use the one outside the city.

We set in the car for over one hour to get to this one abandoned, huge warehouse located amidst some old, rotting buildings and a desolate lot which looks more like a place where the mobsters dump their bodies than an area to shoot movies. But lo and behold, stepping inside the warehouse is like stepping in a completely different world. A perfectly crafted Hutong streets spread suddenly in front of us, with flying walls (that’s a term for a removable wall, sounds better that way – and much easier, gives you an impression that moving the wall can be fast and easy like flying – I can tell you it takes hours of shooting time every time anyone so much as mentions a flying wall), green screens and whatnots. And inside the buildings, perfectly crafted houses, almost like the Chinese families living here had just taken all their furniture, trash, posters and vehicles and left, leaving empty buildings behind. I was, of course, very happy to get a fully crafted set for my use, and so was the poor production designer Gordon Lee, who already has a world and a half to build – and we’re shooting in just over a month from today!

The garden at the Hutong set.

Back at the office, we had a huge planning day with the stunts coordinator set out for us. We have basically storyboarded every scene in the film, and now it’s time to start splitting the scenes into single shots, into camera setups and into concrete shooting days. But this meeting was not about that – it was about the stunts. We had chosen two main stunt-requiring sequences of the film and broke them down into shooting days and what we’re planning to shoot every day. We had (well, Mika had, I would never have enough discipline for that) drawn maps of every location, pointed out every explosion, every special feature and every piece where something will happen in detail.

Our action coordinator, mr. Liu, is a great guy. He’s quite a silent type, unlike most of the stunt people whom I’ve worked with – they tend to be many, rowdy bunch of guys who love to play out their stunts, come up constantly with exciting ideas and loudly explain them. But not mr. Liu. Mr. Liu sits in the corner, listens dutifully as me and Mika blast away our plans on how to shoot this stunt, how to crash this guy through this piece of wall. When he speaks, he speaks with a soft voice, but he’s always on top of his game: he’s ready to suggest multiple ideas, all very story-driven (another feature that’s not as common in stunts as one would hope), but listens carefully to our wishes.

Pictured here are Mika, Crystal our assistant and Lei explaining the storyboards to a production person.

We sat around the storyboards and the plans for hours, but managed only to finish two sequences – but these sequences are already two of the three actual main action sequences, so we were pretty good. We decided to give it a Saturday celebration, since Sunday was a day off, and although Mika had to stay back and had another discussion with the gaffer, I headed back home.

Now, no matter what anyone says, understand one thing: in Beijing, nobody speaks English. And by “not speaking” I mean they have absolutely no kind of a vocabulary. For example, today I went to a restaurant and asked for a toilet. None of the five people had ever heard that word. Then, I asked for a Coke to go with my noodles. Five people, again, and nobody had any idea what I was talking. Google Image Search didn’t help much: the red Coca-Cola logo didn’t ring any bells – until one of them spotted the Chinese-written Coca-Cola sign on one of the thumbnails, ran to a big container full of Coke cans and asked (well, communicated) if this was what I wanted. Yeah. So no, nobody in Beijing speaks English. That’s rule nr. 1. Rule nr. 2 is: don’t get frustrated by it. Remember, it’s actually *you* who don’t speak any Chinese. I have no idea what a “toilet” is in Chinese, or “Coca-Cola”, so I’m no better – besides, I’m in their home turf, they are not responsible for learning my language… But still, you would think in a restaurant people speak few words. But let’s leave it at that.

Mika had his own trials with the gaffer. Being an extremely fast-paced and technical job which relies heavily on the duality of a Director of Photography and gaffer (that’s the guy who does all the lighting), a common language would be helpful. But in this case, there is none. Only way for Mika to communicate – and they even had a translator, but really you have to know the terms and the equipment so well to be able to be helpful – was by drawing the style of equipment they needed. Later on he looked like he had been drive over by a truck…

I took a false start of Type O Ctober this year and allowed me few songs of Type O Negative the other night… This inspired me to do this. Not quite Peter Steele, though 😦

We enjoyed a nice dinner at the restaurant Nola. Well, there was one hiccup: a woman came in with a scruffy dog. I’ve seen her there before, and warned Mika: she has absolutely no control over her dog. And it became very apparent quickly: the dog was sniffing under everyone’s table, and that’s fine for me (for others it may be a nuisance, but I like dogs, although I’m a bit allergic to them so I try not petting too much), but in addition to this, the dog is fucking loud. He barks out happily, loudly, randomly and constantly – and even that is bearable. Like I said, I like dogs. Sometimes, dogs do bark. But what I can’t stand is people who can’t handle their dogs. If you want a dog so badly, at least take a moment to learn to work with it. What she was doing was rather appalling: when the dog wanted to go somewhere, she grabbed it by the tail and dragged it. Of course, it was yelping. And when it did that, she slapped it in the head. So the dog was totally confused: whatever it was doing was apparently wrong.

We had to move inside before getting into a fight with this madame. Fuck her. Some people shouldn’t have a dog…

Later, I introduced Maggie’s to Mika. It was another rather slow night, although it was nearly midnight on Saturday. The same band was playing the same versions of the same songs, as they have done every day for the last God knows how many years… My friend bartender was there, so were the pretty girls who spotted me – the big tattooed guy – instantly and came swarming about. We had few drinks there with Mika, talking about everything between the Earth and the sky above it, and I did a bit more of people-ogling. This time, a group of ugly fat businessmen had parked their asses into one of the cabinets, and pretty callgirls were swarming around them. The evening was headed for something I’d rather not picture, and didn’t care to stay to witness more, so we decided it’s time to head back home.